(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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