Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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