She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
