I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
