I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wish I only lived at night.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
