6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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