Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
