Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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