Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
