I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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