i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
MIDGETS
????
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize