It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
