Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
