that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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