He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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