everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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