a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
