hell yes lets make some ravioli
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
