she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
