So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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