woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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