So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
