Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
