I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize