I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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