what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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