i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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