kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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