from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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