You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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