uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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