wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
