I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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