i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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