We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
