I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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