Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
porn star boner night. come get it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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