honey bunches of taint.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
