Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
