my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize