i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize