is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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