You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
