he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize