I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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