yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
