from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
