You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
