I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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