This beer is not sobering me up at all
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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