Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
