half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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