I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
