Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
