Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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