Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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