Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
