Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
