i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
