Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
