i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
