There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
