I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
