I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
