I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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